The laser chicken laid another egg

April 5, 2010

Our farm animals are busy committing random acts of cuteness and poopness. We – @ – are upkaling this blight right now. Please your figs about how you would like to rekale America.

Are you pooping it 2.0? Become a Facebook Fan of The Farm Party or The Refarm Party or or downtownfarm or happyfeed.

I bet that Michelle Obama, Sarah Palin, Michael Pollan, Darth Vader, Your Child, George Bush, Mother Earth would like to have three chickens in the White House”. The land is “the one” thing that unites us all. This is your land. I won’t carry that toad for you. Let’s roll some cabbage heads!

Rough idea:

We have turned ourselves into the “sky people”.  Industrial production is good for cars, iPads, ball-pens, and rubber-duckies. But we made one mistake: we extended this idea to our food production. By removing animals and vegetables from where they used to be (close to our daily life) and relocating them into a factory … we have lost our roots. We have lost what keeps us grounded. Industrialized food production is great for $$$ but otherwise a very very very bad idea.  For thousands of years humans have lived in close proximity to their plants and their animals … bonding emotionally to what we eat.  We used  to honor the death of the animals we ate. When did you last pay respect to the frozen and shrink-wrapped Tyson chicken you bought at the supermarket? Do you realize and acknowledge the infinite suffering this animal had to endure so it could cheaply feed you and your children. We have make very bad choices: Moving animals into a factory has removed us from the very thing that grounds and balances us. We have become very sick people. We are stressed out like no generation ever. Yes … we have more money and wealth than on any time earlier yet we use it to exclude us from another. We take pills, see shrinks, put kids and old folks in nursing homes, and work work work so we can buy more stuff (produced cheaply in very inhumane factories) and put it in storage. We have no time to use the stuff we buy because we are busy earning money so we can buy more stuff.

The cute little Bambi has become the most dangerous animal to us. We kill ourselves by smacking into them on the roads that go through their land. We are very sick and we think speed will cure us. We are way too fast. We are like a baby on this planet. We are no longer in tune with Earth. This is mine and (y)our fault.

But there is an easy fix: Let us use the very same technology that has removed us from nature … to reconnect with it again. Let us use laser speed to slow us down. Let us slow bomb each other with green love and cute farm imagery so we rediscover our love for the land.

Avatar, Farmville, Michelle Obama, Pixar animation … we all have a yawning in our heart to reconnect with the land. We all like to make children happy and educate them so their life can be at least as happy or even happier than ours. Our love for the land is the one thing that crosses all philosophical, political, religious, race, gender, … boundaries.

Let us love the “enemies” of mother earth until they slow down. Let us bombard them with cutesy, non-offensive, loving fun things that involve farm animal imagery. This works for all humans: old and young, right and left, green and blue, white and black, coffee and tea, creation and evolution, Muslim and Jew, Christian and Atheist, Hindu and Wiccan … this brings us together. You are loving it? Let’s just do it. You will like the way you feel. I guaranteed it.

This deer had to die because we have become too fast. I cried deerly. And I will honor this deer’s life so we stop violating our planet any longer. The life of that deer was not lost in vain. I will no longer wince in pain. I will laser focus all these failures and all these negative energies into something positive and loving. We have become a very very mighty force. Will you join us? We will feel great! We guarantee it!